having a baby with a woman you don't love

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The author playing in the snow in December 2022. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. The dilemma I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me.The problem is that I do not love her and I have told her that. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that Damaged. Don't marry someone you don't love. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. Hi everyone! It was very stressful. I want to be a father!!! Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. They were always fighting. It tears me apart. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. Does anyone relate? First step: Don't rush things. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. I used to . And I still do. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! Having children is not cheap. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. That showed up as a third factor." Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. I was in love with someone else. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". Welcome! This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. LoveDevani is an independent website. :(. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. Married for few months. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. I couldn't be myself with him. People don't know he has a daughter, which tells me he's not proud of her, or truly claiming her in any way. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Welcome to the world little one! It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. Long story short. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Having a baby with someone you don't love. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? I want to be a father!!! start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. I just put myself on hold. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. CLARITY friend you do make a lot of sense. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. What can I do please? I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. Recently I found out I am pregnant. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. Don't feel guilty if you're not in a constant state of love and bliss when you have a new baby. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. They finally divorced when I was 19. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. Good luck to you. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. Good one boys real mature!! I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. I was in the same boat. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. You should do what will make you happy. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. Personally I think if you both have similar life views (finances, rearing children, religion) then I think you could make this a long lasting beautiful relationship and your child can grow up in a loving home with mom and dad. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. Would I do it again? But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. Accept That You Will Never Be First. You are right it is not fair to her. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. Long story as short as possible! I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. We are two total opposite people. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. You're an adult. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. 2Face. . Most were married to . I got pregnant in September of 2011. "All of the rational thoughts. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Just not with her. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. When I did he the. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. I think it's so hard for me to love this baby because I don't love my partner. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. It was required that women felt their decreased desire was significantly lower than that of their partner's. The authors interviewed 15 women between the ages of 25 and 59. Same boat. Don't stay just for the kids. Need help, advice? This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. Add to Collection. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? I pretended to be. Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. 37 weeks today. Support yourself. What now? a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. As I said earlier, each person has different needs. I need advice too. Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. You can't force yourself to love him. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. but honestly did society really win? You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for.

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