But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Laura: Science class. Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. Laura Lee Winslow: No surprise visits from Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. I can almost see what you had for lunch! Harriette Winslow: You have to understand, back in Detroit where he's from, the police are considered the enemy, so he doesn't trust them. Laura: Every time we order another course, you bring your chair closer. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. I got a nosebleed at birth. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word. You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! I met Raoul. Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. I'll be in all the videos. Steve who? Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! [kisses Laura] Love you. This is amazing! Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. [laughs]. I-I-I see. Steve Urkel: Yes! He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Carl Otis Winslow: Two stalks of broccoli and three pieces of asparagus? [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. Urkelbot: [Kojack Impression] Who loves ya, baby! Will you marry me? Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Steve Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. An illustration of a person's head and chest. Self respect. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. When's it going to end? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. First of all, this is not a real date. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? I'm going to give you an 'A'. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. Well it's not cool. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, your old man's read a book or two. Am is a verb, verbs are our friends. Make my day! Steve Urkel: What? Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". It's a "non-date". Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. [Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Steve Urkel: Oh no! "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. Alexandre Dumas was black. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. You got the whole family off on the wrong foot. Rachel Crawford: Honey, how long were you in there? We're getting dirty looks from old people! Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. Carl, Eddie: [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE! Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! I'm here. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I feel so safe in Raoul's strong arms I love him soo much and I sorta like Carl. Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. [Calls Laura's Cell and gets OGD instead]. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! What bright side, Weasel? April 24th, Carl, I planted this fake diary because I knew you'd read it. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. It's a beautiful language. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Laura: We're not going anywhere. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [driving off] Would you relax, Steve? Carl Otis Winslow: I recognized him right away. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? [Greg leaves as Willie walks in with Waldo and the crowd boos him. Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? Waldo: [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. Muskrat Time! [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Ouchith! Laura: [running in] Guess what? Waldo: I can't talk to girls. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? Steve could've been killed. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! It's late. Harriette: Soon, baby. [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. Topics Nerd. It better be a dead relative in your excuse. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! I know how you feel about Laura. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. I'm Stefan sweet thing. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Carl: What? Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. No. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. Sara Sue Pettyjohn: [stuck up toward Myrtle's lack of style and class] That's the difference between *old* money and *new* money. [crying], Maxine Johnson: [Maxine starts to laugh while talking to Steve] Ooh, hoo hoo. When are you going to the store? Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. A heart that hurts. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? Harriette Winslow: I know. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Weasel, you are the last person who should be giving me advice about girls. Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. You had two whole days to forget where it was. Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. I feel stupid! Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Officer Wigglesworth as played by Carl] We're on the same side of the law. Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Laura: What you did for me tonight was really special. Carl Otis Winslow: [after being frightened by Pablo, the stick bug] Did you see the size of that thing? Steve Urkel: Well, Laura, do you realize what you're asking? Urkel pronouns are the best. Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Laura: Dad, you're exacerbating the situation instead of ameliorating it. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. A mouse to cheese! Steve Urkel: [drinking spiked punch] What is this? Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Stefan Urquelle. Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. [cries]. 6. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. Steve Urkel. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Estelle Winslow: Carl! Rodney Beckett: [after seeing Eddie's music video] I can't believe it. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. My mom's the one who really messed up. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Can you help me out? [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! I just caught her, that's all. Carl Otis Winslow: It's full, Harriet! Let me tell you something though Weasel. Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? Steve Urkel: I can't! Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. I was just talking with your grandmother. Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Laura Lee Winslow: Aunt Rachel, take little Richie, the Murphy twins are giving each other haircuts in the backyard! I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. This means you guys have to go together. Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! Second question. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. In the 1991 episode, Steve Urkel was the cousin of D.J.'s friend Julie (Tasha Scott), who gives Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) some valuable advice, after learning that she has to wear reading . Don't they teach Black History at your school? Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. So you have to make every minute count. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. If you cut me, do I not cough? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. Steve Urkel: I can't help it, Laura. Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. Steve Urkel: [singing] Fishing on Lake Wannamuk. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? And OOHHH, and him! Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? I wouldn't know what to charge. I can't afford a B on my permanent record. I promise, okay? "I heard you are looking for a stud. Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. Steve Urkel: Thanks. [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. Steve Urkel: From my stay-away fund. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Suppose I made it happen. College Problems Student Problems Stop the music! It's not funny, it's dangerous. And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Bye! What's for dinner, milk and cookies? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. Hey Steve, would you like a breast? They help move along our sentences. You think she'll really kiss Steve? Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Mont gio sam eea!". Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Carl] I know you're stubborn as a mule but you don't have to act like a jackass! Maybe a better word is Loud. He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! Laura Lee Winslow: Fun? One Now, let's read it! He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. Oh, the room is spinning. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? All the pins look like Laura! Steve Urkel: Of course. Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Trying to cover it up only make things worse. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Why would anybody want to kill her? I'm being born! Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Clean up your room Edward. "Family Matters Quotes." Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Harriette Winslow: But, apparently, you seem to want to learn these things the hard way, so be it. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. No more chimes. So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Oh, yes it is! Let's call it recycling. [Waldo and Maxine are dancing to R&B music and professing their love for each other. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Laura: Sure. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? This wire will be connected to this cord and this cord is not plugged in. Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. He held operations in Chicago. Urkel defeats him]. Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. 11 days ago. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! Carl Otis Winslow: All right. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! The hot chocolate will be ready soon. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Steve Urkel: Laura? What about it, Steve. [reading] "Mongu! Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Old money has more wrinkles! Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Carl: What? Someday, I'll thank myself for this. I can't live like this. Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. Let eserviate on the bright side. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Chico! Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! Laura: Doth thou love me? But I like myself, and that makes me cool. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? Steve Urkel: Laura's got the highly infectious mucus-nasal-osis-inflamicus. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. And we practiced for six minutes! Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge.
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