So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 8. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Oh.. very good. "I know how you feel". The Proud Boys . It's a pretty good deal. 2. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. We had a really nice time. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. But what does proud mean? Everything you do is with excellence. I feel virtually murderous towards them. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? 14. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! Thanks. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. How come you didnt come to watch this match? I am proud of them for being like this with one another. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. Second, he must know you well. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. 8. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. 15. 16. Look him in the eyes and smile. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. Best of BBC Future. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. 3. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. The Psychology of Bragging. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. Who is saying this to whom? It may not display this or other websites correctly. Sajeev Rajan If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. She and I are both married. First, there's physical attraction. Pause before responding. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. For what? Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. 2014, 2016, 2019. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. I teach high school. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. And why should I stop using this phrase? So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? 5. Were brothers, dont you forget that! Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Well done!. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. Its obviously a powerful word. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. Think of things people have often praised. 2. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? Thanks. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. I dont think there is a neutral position. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. 1. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Required fields are marked *. Stay in the know when we release new content! That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? Im so glad to hear that. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. 7. Fascinating post in two regards. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! I have always struggled with this word. 4. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). You haven't said who is speaking to whom. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. . Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. 15. 12. Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. 2. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. "I know someone in recovery". Love you so much. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. You reject that person's generosity. What a surprise! Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" 11. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. I again said. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". But this seems less common. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. . Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. She reciprocated. You are using an out of date browser. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. ". ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. "How I do love you!" You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. Thanks for making us proud. It is arrogant. Then there's emotional attraction. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. "We will always remember. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. However, is this what happens? Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. So, lets get started! Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. I don't think you . I'm so proud of your painting!" It does not take it away from them. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. Towards Net Zero. Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. 12. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. The Next Giant Leap. "I wish I had met you. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . Thank you. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. 6. (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Its very presumptuous. 10. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. Health Gap. Who determines the meaning of words? I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? "How long have you been sober?". Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. 11. Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. 25. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? 9. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . Thank you so much! I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. "Well," you respond with enthusiasm, "I'm so excited right now. Patricia Velasquez. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. . Feb 10, . But who are you to affirm? Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. A strong argument is a solid one. So thank you, mom and dad! In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Dear! 1. (My answer might surprise you. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. 4. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. "Be proud of your scars. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . 2. Compare: "Oh bear!" Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. They just say it. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". 3. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. 17. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality." "Oh, a future barista," says the other guest, swirling his drink.
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